2010-03-06 / Viewpoints

Through An Old Timer’s Eye s

BY HOWARD ‘MAC’ MCDONALD

Sometimes about all old people have going for them are their memories. It struck me on Sunday when I watched the U.S. hockey team lose in overtime to Canada in the Winter Olympics.

It reminded me of the American gold medal win back in 1980. Sonny Abriatis, his brood and Shirley and I were on a snowmobile trip to Canada. We were staying in the small town of Minden in Ontario.

I had forgotten my belt and Sonny and I went to a men’s store where I purchased a belt. I was making small talk with the store owner and he asked what chance I thought the American team had against the Russians.

When I said they didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hades, he lit all over me like a tiger. He said I didn’t know any thing about hockey and he was telling the truth, as I didn’t know much about hockey. The U.S.A. won the game and the Gold. I didn’t go back into that store.

Today as I sat in front of the fire gazing into the flames, my pea-sized brain took me back to my childhood. My father and I used to bump heads every once in a while and I usually came out on the losing end.

One time he bought me a new winter hat and it was a dandy. It was Saturday and my best friend and I went to the afternoon movie. My dad dropped us off and the last thing he said to me was, “Don’t lose your hat.”

We were sitting there munching our tencent bags of popcorn when this lady came in and sat down in front of us. My buddy said, “That’s my cousin Mary, and I don’t like her.”

I had a small pair of scissors in my pocket and I thought I could make my friend happy if I whacked off a large chunk of her hair.

Well, guess what. It wasn’t Cousin Mary. This old gal let out a scream like a gut-shot gorilla. We jumped up and beat feet out of that theater and I left my hat behind.

When I got home, my dad asked me where my hat was. I told him I had lost it and he went off like a sky rocket and really gave me a tongue lashing. He said, “I only have one hand, and I have never lost my hat.”

I had a knack of saying the wrong thing, and when I remarked about how big his hat was compared to mine, I suffered the consequences.

Our weather has been confining and some of the older folks are getting cabin fever. Soon it will be the first day of spring. The weather will have to get a move on to get rid of all this snow and show us the spring flowers and the green grass. Probably the only thing green will be the green beer they make for St. Patrick’s Day.

When I was a kid, there was a department store in Pittsburgh by the name of May Sterns. They had a big sale that was supposed to start on the seventh of May. It was on the radio and in every newspaper. Well, when the day came around, we had six inches of snow. In those days we didn’t get a snow day at school, so we still went to school.

Things are still the same in Washington, with the little guy getting the short end of the stick. It’s hard for me to think that the Republicans and the Democrats are from the same country. There must be some awful big egos there that keep them from working together to help this country to make a comeback.

The big oil companies are sure giving us the old finger as the price has been jumping around like a ping pong ball. I guess we are headed back to the horse and buggy days.

This man took his little boy to the horse auction so he could buy a new riding horse. He saw this one horse he liked and he was giving it a real going over.

The little boy asked his dad why he was feeling the horse’s legs, and the old man answered, “When you buy a horse, you want to be sure it is sound.”

The kid said, “Dad, we better hurry home, as I think the UPS man is going to buy Mom.”

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